Berkeley Noir

  Table of Contents

  ___________________

  Introduction

  PART I: FROM THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC

  Hill House

  Lexi Pandell

  Berkeley Hills

  The Tangy Brine of Dark Night

  Lucy Jane Bledsoe

  Berkeley Marina

  Twin Flames

  Mara Faye Lethem

  Southside

  "Lucky Day"

  Thomas Burchfield

  Berkeley Public Library

  Barroom Butterfly

  Barry Gifford

  Central Berkeley

  PART II: DIRECTLY ACROSS FROM THE GOLDEN GATE

  Eat Your Pheasant, Drink Your Wine

  Shanthi Sekaran

  Kensington

  Every Man and Every Woman Is a Star

  Nick Mamatas

  Ho Chi Minh Park

  Still Life, Reviving

  Kimn Neilson

  Ocean View

  Shallow and Deep

  Jason S. Ridler

  Downtown Berkeley

  Boy Toy

  Jim Nisbet

  Yacht Harbor

  PART III: COMPANY TOWN

  The Law of Local Karma

  Susan Dunlap

  Gourmet Ghetto

  Wifebeater Tank Top

  J.M. Curet

  West Berkeley

  Identity Theft

  Summer Brenner

  North Berkeley

  Dear Fellow Graduates

  Michael David Lukas

  Indian Rock

  Frederick Douglass Elementary

  Aya de León

  West Berkeley Flats

  Righteous Kill

  Owen Hill

  Gilman District

  Acknowledgments

  About the Contributors

  Bonus Materials

  Excerpt from USA NOIR edited by Johnny Temple

  Other Bay Area titles in the Akashic Noir Series

  Also in Akashic Noir Series

  Akashic Noir Series Awards & Recognition

  About Akashic Books

  Copyrights & Credits

  To the memory of Anthony Boucher.

  O.H.

  To the memory of my mother, and to the memory of Susan Tircuit (Cody’s Books alumna), and to my teachers Lucille Clifton and Ntozake Shange, beacons of light, love, and inspiration.

  J.T.

  INTRODUCTION

  The Other Side of Piedmont

  From the Top

  This is not Oakland. This is a swing-shift sistah on the 51B moving from Rockridge, down College Avenue and Telegraph, to let Thursday night meet Friday afternoon / this is a song of ritual and tradition sung soft and hard by a downtown with two mouths / one that chews and one that swallows.

  Is it pretentious to claim that a Bay Area college town can be a breeding ground for noir? For that certain kind of shadow and light, but mostly shadow? Where’s the noir in that perfect view of the Golden Gate, cutting-edge lettuces served in a ghetto dubbed “gourmet,” the parking lot with reserved spaces for Nobel Laureates?

  This place is red wine and beer spilling over pepperoni cheese pizza and late-night final exams living on the edge of every new beginning. This is a bullet on a cloud dancing around the Berkeley Marina, or a week of wet kisses and PhD applications, love poems, and broken promises on the page / a slice of the pie for everyone running with the promise of chutney, chopsticks, toothpicks, and bottles of Tabasco dangling from preconceived notions of a city that wiggles itself between hot and spicy / get-down or takeout.

  A town named after a British philosopher doesn’t exactly evoke visions of Goodis or Highsmith. Grifters? Dames? Cops? In Berkeley? On the surface the alleys don’t seem that dark, until we look a little closer. Possibly the most iconic visual image of Berkeley does involve cops. It’s from a film with activist Mario Savio, atop a police car, declaring, “There’s a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part!” Now there’s a statement that sums up the spirit of noir.

  Berkeley Noir asks, If not here, where? When pulling together this outstanding list of authors, we were constantly reminded of Berkeley’s rich literary history, one that swerves through varying shades of noir. Those who helped pave the way for this collection include Anthony Boucher, Janet Dawson, Margaret Cuthbert, Ellen Gilchrist, Linda Grant, Jonathan Lethem, and Barry Gifford. There will always be a place in the heart of this city where even outcasts can feel at home. From legends like Philip K. Dick setting his stories here, or Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni working out marital bliss in her early novels, or Linnea A. Due tackling teenage alcoholism in the 1970s in High and Outside. The search through darkness for an authentic, eclectic voice is the most important ingredient in the rich stew that is Berkeley, California.

  From the Bottom

  The fix is in, and the grifters, the cops, the profs, the students, and the unsheltered are aware of that, and play the game they choose (or don’t choose). And what of the cops of the BPD, whose squad car once became a stage for Berkeley radicalism? Susan Dunlap gives us a police procedural, gourmet-ghetto style, that serves as a kind of equalizer: “‘Citizens of Berkeley,’ Shelby grumbled as the siren faded away, ‘they bitch about everything. But a guy guns a man down and trots off and not a single concerned citizen bothers to follow him.’”

  Yet the spirit of Berkeley, at least as perceived by most Berkeleyites, is in opposition to cops. Berkeley has been famous for its resistance mentality for at least fifty years. When the fix is in they shine some light on it, fight it, sometimes to the point of political correctness, but who cares?

  When we began discovering the noir landscape, we went to the UC Berkeley campus, to University Avenue. We ventured into the hills, and of course Telegraph Avenue, for its wild and complicated dreamlike characteristics. There is a careful hand in the mix of dark tales in this volume that makes Berkeley’s mystical water landscape the perfect crime accomplice. Jim Nisbet’s nautical opus “Boy Toy,” and Lucy Jane Bledsoe’s “The Tangy Brine of Dark Night,” play a wicked duet on the dreamy waters that embrace the Berkeley magic, and the dark, slow-burn, brown-gravy world of Kimn Neilson’s “Still Life, Reviving” reminds us that even the stillness in shadows can destroy, distract.

  The stories in this book skew left of center, even left of left. There’s crime, as we witness in J.M. Curet’s “Wifebeater Tank Top,” there’s corruption, there’s the double cross, but always with some political context (well captured in Shanthi Sekaran’s “Eat Your Pheasant, Drink Your Wine” and Thomas Burchfield’s “Lucky Day”). The bottom is the bottom, even in the People’s Republic, and it’s as hardscrabble as Gary, Indiana, or Pittsburgh.

  All that sunshine can be cruel if you’re sleeping in the park, or trying to finesse a place for your kid to go to school (check out Aya de León’s excellent story, “Frederick Douglass Elementary”), or dealing with an aging parent.

  Noir is at its best when it comes up from the bottom, fighting that losing battle to do a little better. The faces in this book reach beyond careful politically correct glances and song.

  This is a city of curtains and kisses / keys and six degrees of separation.

  Poets and prophets, and farmer’s-market physicists.

  Fallen ideals on the back of sun-dried tomato peels and pizza slices / chasing CBD and Telegraph / University Avenue got you wondering what’s in the back pocket of this Berkeley Noir song.

  This is Berkeley!

  Here, too, the fix is in. But, jeez, is that the sun shining through the fog across the bay? What a view!

  Jerry Thompson & Owen Hill

  Berkeley, California

  February 2020

 
PART I

  From the People’s Republic

  HILL HOUSE

  by Lexi Pandell

  Berkeley Hills

  I arrive at the hill house and pull out my phone to double-check the address. A droplet of sweat clings to the tip of my nose and I blow it off. It splashes on the screen, just missing the jagged crack across the front.

  It's the right place.

  Patrick Bloom's house is smaller than I'd expected, only two stories high. But when I peer through a gap in the massive wooden fence, I can tell that it's nice—one of those Berkeley homes with old bones, scaled all over in brown shingles. This whole street is stacked with unassuming multimillion-dollar houses.

  I lock my bike to a No Parking sign and try to catch my breath. When I moved back to Berkeley from New York, everyone told me I should get a bike. Unfortunately for me, I'd forgotten why I never biked when I was growing up here. Worse than the shitty drivers are the hills, like the one up to this house. I had to get off my bike after nearly keeling over backward.

  October has brought its unseasonal, and unfortunately named, Indian-summer heat. While my friends back east are bundling up for autumn, I'm wearing a tank top featuring the leering Cal mascot, Oski, and my dark hair is twirled in a bun, and I'm still pouring sweat. The wet strap of my duffel bag bites into my shoulder.

  I unlatch the gate and walk through a garden to get to the front door. Tomatoes on tangles of vines, plumes of herbs, beans racing along trellises like string lights, fireworks of green leaves belonging to carrots, kale, lettuce, beets. There's even a raised bed with corn—who the fuck grows corn at home?

  Patrick Bloom, I guess.

  I knock, willing my stomach to untie itself from its knot. After a moment, Patrick Bloom, the world's most renowned health writer, opens the door and looks out, not in an unfriendly way, just a little blank, until he sees my shirt and bag and realizes that I am the grad student there to house-sit.

  "Mariana?"

  I nod and he lets me in. It's the kind of house designed to feel like a home. I'd seen it featured in a magazine before. In addition to Patrick Bloom's writing, his wife designed book covers, a few of them famous. Their home has long been the subject of public interest.

  Patrick Bloom shows me how to work the oven, where to find the bathroom, how to access the deck with a view of San Francisco. His famous mop of curly white hair is even bigger in person; a thin spot burrowed at the back of his head makes it look a little like a halo.

  Patrick Bloom stands for something that intrigues me. Cleanliness. Health. Wholesomeness. The idea that your life can be better if you eat quinoa and listen to your body and walk more. Not that his work isn't based on science, just that the resulting advice is so simple and smart that you hate yourself for not thinking of it first. I devoured all of his books while I was living in New York, bartending and filing the odd music review for an alt-weekly. I applied to journalism school at Cal, where Patrick Bloom is a professor, with the assumption that I wouldn't get in. When I showed up for the new student tour, the admissions officer flashed a crocodile smile and told me that she thought my essay was excellent. I don't remember what I wrote, though I do know that I mentioned Patrick Bloom.

  Patrick Bloom's assistant is a second-year student named Eloise. She's blond and so skinny that the bones of her knees show through her jeans. She snacks on baby carrots and hummus while she uses the school computers to plow through research for Patrick Bloom's upcoming book. She must use the printers ten times as much as any other student. She delivers his reading material in hard copy. Hulking scientific studies, long articles, entire e-books.

  There are only a handful of teaching assistants in our program. Most of them, well, teach. But Eloise is entirely dedicated to Patrick Bloom. The university covers her tuition. That's how much he's worth to them.

  Eloise was handpicked by the TA before her and someday she, too, will pass the torch. It's competitive—rumor has it that a recommendation from Patrick Bloom will snag you a job at any top magazine. Eloise was the one who suggested my house-sitting for Patrick Bloom when she was called away for her grandfather's funeral in Connecticut.

  "Is that something you do a lot?" I asked. "House-sitting?"

  "Yeah, but it's not weird. And his house is amazing. So it's, like, fun."

  Patrick Bloom leads me upstairs. Photos of him and his wife posing with various celebrities, feminine touches in a throw pillow here or a watercolor painting there. We walk past his children's rooms. Nautical theme for the boy, with model ships lining his windowsill. The girl's is painted ballet-shoe pink.

  It looks like a family of four still lives here, but his children are off at college and his wife died three years ago. I know this because he wrote an award-winning memoir about cooking for her as she was dying. She designed the book cover as her last major piece. I thought it was kind of ugly and maudlin, if I'm being honest, but the writing was some of his best.

  We pass a room with a big wooden door. His study. The door is locked. He doesn't have to tell me that it's off-limits.

  I think he's going to show me to a guest room, but instead he leads me to the master bedroom.

  "This is where you'll stay."

  I drop my duffel. The walls are painted brown and there are wide windows with no blinds. It's like the mouth of a cave.

  "A little unconventional, I know," he says. "The design of the room is based on scientific research on the optimal sleeping environment. I'm writing about it in my next book."

  He doesn't seem to think it's odd that I just smile and nod at everything he says. I'm a terrible journalism student—I don't ask nearly enough questions.

  Downstairs, he drums the refrigerator with his fingers and tells me to eat anything I like, he doesn't mind. He shows me back out to the garden and tells me to harvest.

  "Whatever you don't pick will go bad." He considers a zucchini, small but plump. He yanks it from the vine. "It will rot. Especially in this heat . . ."

  A car pulls up out front and honks lightly. Patrick Bloom dashes inside for his luggage. He can't possibly be leaving already, I barely know anything about his home. But, indeed, he is. He shakes my hand and thanks me. His skin is still sticky from the zucchini.

  "If anything comes up, my number is on the fridge," he tells me.

  And then he is gone.

  I go inside. The zucchini remains on the table where he left it. I pick it up and sniff. It smells green. I hate zucchini. I put it down and retrace my steps from the tour, exploring for a second time at my own pace. I realize I'm holding my breath. No one is here monitoring me. I don't know why I'm afraid.

  I go to the bathroom and see a flash of highlighter-bright urine in the bowl. Jesus. I flush the toilet before sitting down. A rack of magazines flank the toilet. Food, lifestyle, travel. Do all rich people keep their magazines in the bathroom? Has he ever run out of toilet paper and had to rip off a page to use on his ass?

  It's nearly dinnertime and the sun streaming through the windows turns orange. I only brought two things to eat—a jar of peanut butter and a box of granola bars. I had planned to bike to the grocery store. I'm grateful I can eat his food. Fuck dealing with that hill again. Plus, how many people can say they've eaten something from Patrick Bloom's garden?

  I text a photo of it to my brother Jack. We are not related by blood, but we grew up together and I'm an only child, so he's the closest thing to a sibling I have.

  Got any tips about picking this stuff? I write.

  I know zilch about gardening, but Jack does, in a way.

  When Jack was fifteen and I was eleven, my mom found pressed pills in his backpack. He told me they weren't for him, just something he was selling. I don't know what explanation he gave my mom, but it wasn't good enough. She went ballistic. The next day, we woke up and Jack was gone.

  Two weeks later, a farm worker visiting family in Oakland saw the poster with Jack's face and called us with a tip. We drove an hour and a half to Gilroy, where we found Jack kn
eeling in a strawberry field. He had grown tan enough that, with his bandanna and hoodie, he fit in with the dozens of scrawny Mexican guys out there. The biggest difference was that, while they wore steel-toed work boots, he had on his scuffed-up Doc Martens.

  The car ride back to Berkeley started out quiet. Even from the backseat, I could see that his hands were dirty and blistered.

  "You stink," my mom said finally. It was true. A cloud of stench, sweet and earthy.

  "If you're not going to let me make money my way," Jack said, "I'll make it another way."

  "I don't give a fuck about what you do on the street, you're not my kid. But don't bring that shit into my home. I find anything else and you're out."

  After that, Jack took odd jobs doing yard work for frat houses and rich professors near campus, though I'm fairly certain he kept dealing on the side.

  Now in Patrick Bloom's garden with the late-day sun beating on my bare shoulders, I stare at my phone. I know Jack isn't going to respond to my text, but I wait for a few minutes anyway.

  I guess I'll have to do it myself.

  I pull a cucumber off the vine, pluck some late-season tomatoes, and rip a head of lettuce from the ground.

  In the kitchen, I find some knives. Japanese. Very sharp. I cut open the cucumber to discover that it's disgusting. Pulpy and warm. The lettuce is okay, though I find dead winged insects lining the crotch of the leaves. I wash it five times. I slice into the tomatoes but miscalculate and catch the end of my finger. It spurts. Shit. I wrap it in a paper towel and then wipe the little droplets of blood from the cutting board.

  It's not until I'm eating the salad that I taste the metallic tang of the blood I missed. The cutting board I used is made of a porous wood and, by the time I rinse it after dinner, it's stained.

  It seems atmospheric to read Patrick Bloom's books at his house during my first night there, and he has copies on the bookshelf with uncracked spines. I take a couple to the living room and flip to my favorite sections. A preface about foraging for mushrooms in the wilds of Humboldt County. A chapter about our genetic similarities to flies. A passage that compares Gatorade with the sugar water left out for hummingbirds.